The Kawaii new girl
by Ninja Marshmallow Cookies
Summary: Zim and Dib go to school one day to find one of the most obnoxious person that they've ever met. And now the two enemies have to team up and destroy her!
1. Chapter 1

The Kawaii new girl.

An Invader Zim fanfic.

Summary: Zim and Dib go to school one day to find one of the most obnoxious person that they've ever met. And now the two enemies have to team up and destroy her!

**(An: I thought i'd do a parody thing. It's gonna be about 3-5 chapters long, so expect more besides this part. This is gonna be fun!)**

One day, Zim and Dib were sitting in school like normal. Or as normal as normol can be in a crazy town with aliens. So normal like usual. Zim and Dib scowled at each other across the room, like normal. And miss Bitters was giving a lecture on the Zombie and Unicorn war of 1849. But suddenly, outside, something broke away from the normalness.

There was A large crash, and a bang, as Dib saw that Tak had come back to earth on her space ship. Dib almost fell over in his chair in suprise. But just as she had exited the ship, and was laughing maniacally, someone else flew out of the ship, knocked her down, and kicked her away. Dib sighed. He figured that had been taken care of. But the person turned his way, and waved. Dib was very suprised at how she looked.

She was skinny, yet had huge boobs. She was wearing a very short black dress, with a pink ingsignia in the middle. She wore pink and black tights, and had spiky pink and black hair that went all the way down to her knees. she also had tiny angel wings, and fashionable boots, and fingerless gloves. She then quickley ran to the skool entrance, and was in the classroom the next instant. Ms. Bitters raised an eyebrow at her.

"Ah yes, another useless adition to our inglourious skool. Now say something to the class, before I lose it. The girl turned to the class.

"Hai gaiz 1'm nu 2 dis skool. Mai naym is Crystal Daisy Blue jay starlight spark johnson! I'm nu 2 da skool and i'm supa smat and afleptic and beta at than u at everyting! i have wings and i can fly and-" She kept going on and on, and Dib realized that she was _really _annoying. _really really _annoying. Every second she talked, the more he hated her. Dib looked at Zim, who seemed just as annoyed.

After an excrutiatingatly long speech, Crystal took a seat.

Right in the middle of Zim and Dib. Dib sighed. It was going to be a long day. Ms. Bitters continued to drone, and the girl turned to Dib.

"Hai dere dib i'm a paranormal person 2 !111!" she said. Dib's eye's widened, and his hair scythe flipped over his face in suprise.

"How do you know my name?" He asked. He then thought for a bit. "How do you know i'm a paranormal investagator anyways?" She smiled, showing of vampire teeth.

"i has telepeenikes! Also, 1'm have irken." Zim turned around in his chair.

"Half Irken? That's impossible!" He stood up on his desk. "YOU LIEEEE!" She didn't seem to notice. She just kept on rambling in her annoying voice, with Dib slamming his head on the table.

"1'm alzo in luv wif the bof of u!1 but i don no hoo to chuz." Zim stood on his desk again.

"MIGHTY INVADERS DON'T NEED LOVE!" he screeched. Bitters raised an eyebrow, hissed, and turned in his direction.

"If you don't pipe down, I will incinerate your eyes!" she hissed again, showing off her forked tounge, then continued her lecture. "The Unicorns were able to create a blockade at the mountains, and defeated the Zombies in that battle. General Sparkle mane was responsible for that victory. then the-"

Dib turned around and looked at the girl. Was she serious? Saying that she loved the both of them and couldn't choose was very weird and out of the blue.

XXX

After the bell rang, Dib sauntered out of the classroom with the rest of the skool children. But to his suprise, the girl glomped him.

"Hai I am gonna follow u hawm cuz i'm yur girl fren!" Dib scowled. Would she ever go away?

"Bug off!" he said, but she had already gone, and done the same to Zim. Dib snickered at how he was being glomped. Dib then hurried out of the skool as fast as he could, hoping that the girl wouldn't spot him.

XXX

Dib was sitting at home on his couch with Gaz, telling her about the annoying girl, while she sipped her poop soda and flipped through TV channels, ignoring him. Dib then heard a knock at the door. He opened it, and found Zim at the door, with GIR Clutching to his head. Both of their eyes were wide, and they were shivering. Just before Dib could attack him, Zim stopped Dib.

"It's..it's _her_! You've got to help me!"

**(Okay, here's chapter one! I wonder what Crystal did to Zim... ;)**

**Be sure to review, and check out my other fanfics!)**


	2. Chapter 2

The kawaii new girl.

Chapter 2

**(Lol, I don't have much to say, but be sure to review.)**

Dib didn't have much time to react, when he found his lifelong (or at least the duration of the fourth grade) enemy on his doorstep begging for help. But before Dib could stop Zim, (Who looked like he and his robot were having something between a panic attack and muscle spasms) were on his living room floor, throwing up, Much to Gaz's distaste. She turned around to face Dib.

"Why's your weird friend over here?" She asked, poking GIR with her foot. Zim turned over, as Dib walked over.

"Its...Its...her..." he said. Dib immediately knew who he was talking about, Just as Crystal-dragon whatever the rest of her name was burst through the door.

"OH HAI EVARYON!" she yelled, running into the room. "LOOKAT MEH SIR!" she said, brandishing a candy-pink SIR unit. GIR began to tremble when he saw it. The SIR unit began to talk, much in the way of her master.

"OH HAI EVARY ONE!111!11! i AM A sir Unit dat haz lazurs and i can fli! Meh nam is silva Butteer fli!111!" Dib cringed again. The voice was even more annoying than Crystal. Crystal jumped onto Dib's head. Dib looked around to see where Zim was. He was gone. And he had Crystal to deal with.

Alone.

Dib's hands began to sweat.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH SWEET MERCIFUL CRYSTAL DRAGON ZOMBIE JESUS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled. Crystal was trying to make out with his head or something. After a long struggle, he was able to shove her off, and ran upstairs to his room, yelling down to Gaz, (Who wasn't bothered the entire time to get up and see what was going on)

"GAZ! SHE'S PERFECT AND ANNOYING! GET HER!" He then dived into his room, just in time to see her open one brown eye and dive for the girl.

Dib then sat in his room, panting.

"TIme to initiate secrect anti-alien bunker!" he said. And by 'scect anti-alien bunker' he meant taking out some cardboard signs that read 'no aliens allowed' taped around the room, and shoving a dresser in front of the door. It was one of the most stupid bunkers anyone had ever see-

"Hey!" Shouted Dib. "I couldn't find the right tecnology on ebay!" he said, apparently breaking the fourth wall to talk to me. This just makes me wonder, if he has so much technology down in the basement, why the crappy bunker? He then began tapping his foot angriliy like a whiny baby.

"I'm not a whiny baby!" The whiny baby whined.

"Stop doing that!" he whined again. The narrarator then got tired of this overused breaking the fourth wall joke, decided to skip the explination of the bunker technology, and had Dib go look at the closet, and decided to get a different job.

A muffled bump could be heard from the closet.

_"What could that be?" _ Dib thought. He carfully, slowly opened up the closet.

"AH! GIR! THE STUPID PIG HUMAN HAS FOUND US!" He yelled in his typical hammy style.

"Is the scary lady robot gone?" he whimpered. Dib picked Zim up by the collar.

"What are you doing in my closet?" he asked angrily.

"It was Crystal..." he choked out. Dib cringed.

"What did she do?" Dib asked. Zim thrashed around, making faces.

"Ugh, It was TERRIBLE! All this whining, and talking all about her sappy ANGST filled past! annoying! ZIM DOES NOT NEED SOBBY BACKSTORIES! And then...She tried to get into my happy Irken parts! then, when I tried to run away, she got out her SIR unit! And it did the same to poor GIR!" GIR began to whine at this.

"So scaaary!" He said, shaking and curling up into a ball. "POOOOOTAAAATOOOOESSS!" He said randomly. Dib figured that Crystal must have done something scarring to him with potatoes. Or GIR was just being GIR. Zim slapped Dib's hands off.

"I absolutely HATE to say it but I think we need to work together against this new, ANNOYING threat." Dib smiled.

"But she's not bugging me! This is the perfect time to show you to the authorities! I could- " A pound on the door interupped him. The door flew open, throwing the dresser aside, as game crawled into the room. Dib was shocked.

_"My sister has near supernatural powers! What can this girl do?" _He thought. Before he could say anything outloud, Gas uttered one single word.

"RUN!" she groaned out. A high pitched voice came up the stairs.

"I'M CUMING FUR U BOYZ!111!11!"

**(lol it's done review people.)**


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